


The Trouble with Unicorns

by UnsubstantiatedAssertion



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: About 2-3-ish years in the future, Aged-Up Character(s), F/M, Fluff and Humor, Future Fic, Innuendo, Legends about Unicorns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29286699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnsubstantiatedAssertion/pseuds/UnsubstantiatedAssertion
Summary: Ezran, Callum, and Rayla have spent months searching for one of the last remaining unicorns in existence, hoping to gain her assistance in the war against Aaravos. But something's gone wrong.While the unicorn has no problem with Ezran, she won't tolerate Callum and Rayla...Now with a bonus chapter! Callum and Rayla struggle to get over their embarrassment over what happened, but Ezran isn't helping.(Rated for innuendo related to old legends about unicorns and what people they will show themselves to.)
Relationships: Callum & Ezran & Rayla (The Dragon Prince), Callum/Rayla (The Dragon Prince)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 69





	1. The Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> Just a funny idea I had when thinking about if there are any surviving unicorns in present day Xadia (I would assume there are since Claudia had to go and find a unicorn horn, which would suggest it wasn't an old already removed one since that would be easier to acquire).
> 
> I would have made the trio even older to be safe (it's 2-3 years post season 3/TTM), but I felt going any older would break the suspension of disbelief for Ezran not knowing what a virgin is. If shows like Rick and Morty can make similar jokes about even younger characters I would think this is okay.

Unicorns: the rarest creatures in all the lands. Most believed them extinct, and for good reason. In the ages before the exile of humanity, dark mages had hunted the unicorns to the last, taking their horns as ingredients for their spells. As with any such coveted yet rare thing, rumors abounded of living unicorns. Someone swears their brother's cousin's great aunt's best friend's local shop owner heard about a distant mountain where live unicorns hid at the peak. Or an adventurer would spin tall tales about being rescued by one in the depths of the Uncharted Forest.

As a lover of all animals, Ezran naturally believed every story about unicorns he'd ever heard. The trials he'd undergone the past few years had stripped away much his childish innocence, but he clung to the belief that unicorns still existed somewhere in Xadia. But today it wasn't simply out of sorrow for what happened to them in the past, or fascination with creatures themselves, Ezran needed unicorns to still live because the fate of the world may depend on it. Legends said that unicorns held untold amounts of wisdom. With Aaravos and his followers gaining ground everyday, a still-living unicorn might be the only being alive with the knowledge of how to stop him.

For the past few months, Ezran, Callum, and Rayla scoured every corner of Xadia and the human kingdoms in search of the legendary beasts. After too many false starts to count, they'd finally hit upon a promising lead about a secluded grove in the heart of the Drakewood.

"Okay," Callum said as the three walked through the forest. His nose was buried in an ancient bestiary he'd borrowed from the Storm Spire. "Unicorns are naturally distrustful, for obvious reasons, and can innately sense the contents of a person's soul. They will only show themselves to people they deem pure of heart."

"Shouldn't be a problem for any of us, then," Rayla called out. She was several feet ahead of Callum and Ezran, using her swords to clear a path through the undergrowth.

Bait rumbled from inside Ezran's backpack.

"Don't be silly, Bait," Ezran answered, "you're the purest of us all!" Ezran cocked his head, a telltale sign to the others that Bait was telling him something. "You did _what_?! When?! Guys, I think Bait might need to wait somewhere when we get to the unicorn."

"Speaking of that," Callum said, "you don't think using dark magic would count as not being pure of heart, do you?"

"Obviously it does," Rayla answered.

"But it was just the one time, and I did it to save your life!"

"We can't know if the unicorn will see it that way. There's a saying in Xadia. 'Dark magic: not even once!'"

Ezran pulled Bait out of his backpack and handed the glow toad to Callum. "Maybe you should stay here with Bait?"

Callum gave a very fake laugh. "Very funny. I'm sure we'll all be fine. Let's just keep going."

They silently continued their march through the woods for another half hour. Finally they came to a stop in front of a nearly solid wall of old-growth trees. There was just enough of a gap between the trunks for someone, or some _thing_ , to squeeze in and out of.

"That's... not normal," Callum noted.

"I think we're here!" Ezran giddily rubbed his hands together. This would be at least the fourth coolest thing he'd ever done.

Rayla leaned over and placed her hand on Ezran's shoulder. "Alright, Ez, do your thing."

Ezran stepped forward, closed his eyes, and titled his head up. He never was able to explain exactly how his ability to talk to animals worked, only that it wasn't the same as speaking out loud with words. He reached out, calling to anything nearby and hoping a unicorn would answer.

Nothing happened.

Ezran hung his head. "Nothing's answering me."

"It's alright. We'll keep trying," Callum said.

A rustling noise came from behind the tree wall. Ezran and Callum froze while Rayla tightened her grip on her swords just in case. Just to the group's left, several low hanging branches shuddered. A slender, pearlescent horn parted the foliage, shortly followed by the horn's owner. It was indeed a unicorn, with a coat such a pure shade of white that it appeared to reflect the dappled light of the forest. It's dark eyes held a wisdom far beyond that of a mere animal, the eyes of an old soul who had seen more in one lifetime than was humanly (or elf-ly) possible. Bait clambered out of Ezran's backpack and scrambled off into the forest in pure terror.

The unicorn whinnied and took a step towards Ezran. His jaw on the floor, Ezran gently held out his open hand as the unicorn stepped closer still. Carefully, moving as slow as possible, Ezran reached out to pet the unicorn's snout. The unicorn leaned in to Ezran's palm and nuzzled against him.

Off the side, Callum and Rayla stared in awe. Rayla started to bow in case unicorns had a hierarchy similar to dragons, but thought better of it and moved to salute it, then thought better again and stood ramrod straight in deference. Callum tried to follow her lead, but after a moment of just watching Ezran wordlessly pet the unicorn he felt it was time to move forward with their mission.

"Thank you so much showing yourself to us. We're honored," Callum said. The unicorn lurched at the sound his voice. "I'm sorry I can't talk to you the way my brother can, so I hope you're able to understand me. We need your help-" Callum was cut off as the unicorn charged at him. In less than the blink of an eye, the unicorn came to a halt with the tip of its horn only millimeters from Callum's neck. He stood as still as the nearby trees, his hands raised to show he was unarmed.

"Callum means no harm to you!" Rayla said while approaching the unicorn. "I swear it on my life." Her swords were sheathed, but the unicorn still turned its attention away from Callum and stared down Rayla instead. It snorted and scratched at the ground with one hoof.

Ezran carefully approached the unicorn and stroked its mane. It relaxed ever so slightly.

"I don't get it, how could we not be pure of heart?" Callum asked.

"She says that's not the problem," Ezran explained. "You're both pure of heart, but you're not..." he paused to listen further, "...you're not 'pure of body.'"

"What? What does that even mean?"

Rayla crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. "Dark magic: not even once."

"That doesn't make any sense. If it was dark magic, then why aren't you 'pure of body' too?"

"Um," Rayla tried to think of an explanation but said nothing more.

Ezran turned back to the unicorn. He nodded several times, adding a couple "uh-huhs" for the others' benefit. Then he frowned and returned his attention to Callum and Rayla.

"She says that by 'pure of body' she means you guys aren't... what does 'virgin' mean? She won't tell me."

Callum and Rayla froze solid and their faces turned the darkest shades of red Ezran had ever seen.

"It means, um, it means," Callum nudged Rayla in the side, "a little help here?"

The nudge jolted Rayla out of her embarrassed stupor. Unfortunately for Callum, she would provide no assistance. "Excuse me, I have to go lay down in a ditch and die."

Before Rayla could leave, the unicorn gave a frustrated snort and shook her head. This meant something to Ezran and his eyes widened in response.

"Oh! I get it now. Wait," the smile on his face started to fade as he looked back and forth at Rayla and Callum.

"Actually I'm pretty sure it was the dark magic after all!" Callum blurted out. He laughed nervously and hoped Ezran would accept that answer.

"But that means you guys had... WHAAAAAAAT!?"


	2. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum and Rayla attempt to recover from their mortification, but Ezran isn't helping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be a one shot but I had some leftover other jokes I still thought would be funny enough to use.

Under no circumstances would the unicorn permit Callum and Rayla into her glade. Ezran was welcome to converse with her there, and since he was the only one who could actually talk with her, it worked out for the best. Ezran and the unicorn squeezed through an empty space in the tree wall, with Ezran promising to be back once the negotiations were finished.

Now left to their own devices, Rayla sought out a ditch to lay down and die in. The ground was far too even in their vicinity however. She ultimately settled for curling up on her side at the trunk of a large oak tree. Callum sat down next to her and hugged his knees close to his chest. Both tried to get their minds off what had just happened and dissipate the enormous blushes on their face with little success.

"I'll never be able to look Ezran in the face again," Callum lamented.

Rayla groaned in agreement from within her fetal position of shame. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Me," Callum noted, wryly. A sharp, hacking noise came in response. Callum hurriedly leaned over to check on Rayla. As Callum looked closer, he realized the noise was in fact Rayla trying to hold back laughter. Eventually she gave up on holding back and sat up, filling the air with raucous laughing. Callum smiled, caught up in her mirth.

Rayla calmed down for a moment and paused to speak. "I can't be held responsible for that! I'm the elf in this relationship, I'm naturally," she pointed at the horns atop her head, "horny." She doubled over with resumed laughter and Callum couldn't help but join her.

After a few minutes, the laughter faded to giggling, then to chuckling, and finally back to silence. "I guess it's not so bad. I mean, Ez is probably just as embarrassed as us. Maybe he won't say anything," Callum suggested.

Just on queue, Ezran's voice rang out. "I AM DONE TALKING WITH THE UNICORN AND WALKING BACK TO WHERE I LEFT YOU GUYS!"

"OKAY. WHY ARE YOU YELLING?" Callum shouted back.

"SO THAT YOU KNOW I'M COMING IN CASE YOU WERE... DOING ANYTHING... WHILE I WAS GONE!!"

And just like that, Callum and Rayla were back to their shell-shocked, blushing state.

"Hey guys!" Ezran's head popped out from one of the gaps in the tree trunks. "The unicorn was super nice, and she knows so much! She's over a thousand years old and she said she'll tell us anything we want to know about Aaravos..." Ezran trailed off when he noticed Callum and Rayla's lack of reaction. They were sitting with that same mortified look of embarrassment as when he'd left.

"Aw," Ezran scratched the back of his head, "sorry, I was just kidding around."

"We know, it's just..." Callum struggled to turn his feelings on the situation into words, "a very, uh, private thing that's not really something you talk about with other people. Especially not little brothers."

Ezran nodded and smiled at his brother and Rayla. They smiled back, with the hope everything would be back to normal.

"Why don't we just put in pin this," Rayla quickly added "forever" under her breath, "and talk about what's important: the unicorn and how she's going to help us."

"Okay, but I do have one last question first," Ezran said. The expression on his face was completely sincere. "When is Rayla going to have the baby?"

Callum choked on his own spit. His face turned as much purple as it did red.

Rayla collapsed onto the ground with a thump. "Kill me now."

**Author's Note:**

> The legend is that unicorns only show themselves to virgins and hate non-virgins. In fact, medieval writings say the "official" way to hunt a unicorn is to bring a virgin woman into a forest and wait for a unicorn to show itself to her. Then the, presumably non-virgin, hunters jump out from their hiding places and kill the unicorn.


End file.
